she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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