Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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