so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
