So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize