Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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