He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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