just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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