Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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