Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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