Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
