I wanna bring you to show and tell
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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