My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
