oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
