Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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