Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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