I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
