Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
