just tell him i said nine months
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize