I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
