I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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