eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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