Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize