How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
whose ass print is on the piano?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
