the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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