I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm bleeding and have questions
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
