So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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