the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
