5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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