Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
