How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
