Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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