Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.