Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
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Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
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You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry