Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.

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(646): If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over. http://tfl.nu/pts9

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(563): View more from Iowa

I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death

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(563): I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death http://tfl.nu/f03y

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(718): View more from New York

is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?

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(718): is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy? http://tfl.nu/hdnt

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(224): View more from Illinois

it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.

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(224): it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday. http://tfl.nu/m5qz

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(254): View more from Texas

I'M GETTING MARRIED!

(512): View more from Texas

YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!

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(254): I'M GETTING MARRIED! (512): YOU'RE STILL MARRIED! http://tfl.nu/48vu

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(564): View more from Washington

He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns

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(564): He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns http://tfl.nu/yiwx

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(908): View more from New Jersey

there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time

(732): View more from New Jersey

no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.

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(908): there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time (732): no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution. http://tfl.nu/6mq6

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(305): View more from Florida

woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...

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(305): woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"... http://tfl.nu/ev8f

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(203): View more from Connecticut

some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"

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(203): some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story" http://tfl.nu/0unr

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(416): View more from Toronto

Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.

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(416): Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything. http://tfl.nu/up9n

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...

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(412): Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation... http://tfl.nu/ehdf

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(251): View more from Alabama

dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists

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(251): dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists http://tfl.nu/lizw

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(970): View more from Colorado

there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.

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(970): there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night. http://tfl.nu/aogr

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(408): View more from California

Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.

(408): View more from California

Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly

(1-408): View more from California

I approve this so hard.

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(408): Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon. (408): Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly (1-408): I approve this so hard. http://tfl.nu/8gh1

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(410): View more from Maryland

well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.

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(410): well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you. http://tfl.nu/1rtw

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