I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
