my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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