Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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