i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
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After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
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A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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