i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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