dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
