fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
