How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
