I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
