in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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