I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wear drunk well.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
