I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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