my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
