...so i touched it.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize