having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
