Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
