we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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