You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
