That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
