blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
