Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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