quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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