she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You were trust falling into bushes
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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