Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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