I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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