But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
