remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
