the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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