Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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