im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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