quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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